For those of us who are married and do not intend to get divorced, the most important thing you can do in a marriage is have respect for the other person. (I hear a lot of women talk of love, and love is wonderful, but for me, respect is better.)
One of the problems that I and many wives I know have is thinking about marriage in terms of what is in it for me. Or more commonly, I hear or think something to the effect of this:
What has he done for me lately?
We women pile up our multitasking skills, hold down the home, many of earn some kind of income if not managing a full time job or business, we manage the kids, we are secretary and reception at home, administrator for many things – sometimes even everything, are school advocate, housekeeper, cook…the list goes on and one. And many of our husbands don’t see it. When that happens, we feel the need to put ourselves front and center and run over our husband’s best intentions.
So, this Father’s Day I’m going to do a series, starting tomorrow, on my own experiences in trying to be a better wife and not worry so much about Chris’ faults, to help make my marriage better.
And yes, this is something of a Father’s Day gift. I firmly believe that one of the best gifts we can give our children is a good marriage. We fail, we fight, we get angry and say stupid things because we are human, but if they can always see that love and togetherness outshines that every day, we’ve given them a good foundation to grow up on.
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Mommy Therapy says
This is so important, and so true! I find that when I am working on myself, which is what I am trying to teach my children is the best place to start when you want a relationship to go better, I am happier. If I focus on all the wrong-doings of my husband, he will always fall short and I will always be unhappy. If I focus on the good things and I try to do better on my short comings (I REALLY have to stretch to find them – ha!) then we both feel better. I’m 9 years in but this marriage thing is hard work, but gets better and better every year.
Look forward to reading your next post about this!
admin says
Yea, it IS hard to find those faults of ours, lol… After nearly 13 years of marriage and 19 years together, I’ve come to believe that it’s that hard work and all the crises we have to resolve that makes it better. And yea, that includes both the things we didn’t expect, and the everyday boring. If you’re not going to work at taking responsibility and working on your own attitude, I don’t see how a marriage can work. Good for you!
admin says
Yea, it IS hard to find those faults of ours, lol… After nearly 13 years of marriage and 19 years together, I’ve come to believe that it’s that hard work and all the crises we have to resolve that makes it better. And yea, that includes both the things we didn’t expect, and the everyday boring. If you’re not going to work at taking responsibility and working on your own attitude, I don’t see how a marriage can work. Good for you!
Daca says
I must say, I really like your point. No matter how hard it can get sometimes, we should try to improve things. That also includes improving ourselves. Nice post.
Daca says
I must say, I really like your point. No matter how hard it can get sometimes, we should try to improve things. That also includes improving ourselves. Nice post.