Unending Vigilance; Alex Spourdalakis Tragedy

As I’ve promised some friends, I’d write about the final IEP session which took place last week. As you know, I posted on how to have a good IEP recently, and I’ve been blessed that ours always go well, and despite some unpleasant things going on at the school, I still hold to that: Thus far, all is well.

I was sitting in the meeting, though, and the Occupational Therapist, was giving her piece and said, “We do that and then we reward, like giving her a marshmallow…”

At that point, I was stunned. She finished her part, asked if there were any questions and then went back to her work day. So the special ed teacher and I went on. We were all the way to behavioral supports before I said something.

Because, you see, after 2 IEP meetings I had completely forgot that I’d NOT heard the requirement I requested last year for them not have any food not brought in from home. AUGH. I’d been working so closely to bring in substitute snacks and food for every single “treat” event that I’d thought this was covered and hadn’t remembered to include it in the IEP. Was it even included last year? I’m thoroughly opposed to using food as a reward for schoolwork.

And, marshmallows? Ugh. The ingredients of marshmallows are:

• Sugar. We don’t give our kids sugar at all. Probably made with GM’s if not GMO’s, but honestly, TRULY bad for you. Agave nectar, honey, Xylitol – all better, depends what your child can tolerate.
• Guar or other gum. Sadly, gums contain MSG, a neurotoxin, which means it wrecks your neural system in your brain. Think Alzheimers.
• Corn syrup. We don’t give our kids corn products. Loaded with GMOs, plus corn probably contains glutens according to this article.
• Food coloring, specifically blue dye in white marshmallows.

Great. Chris even said, “Now we know why she’s been having problems lately.”

So I hope and pray that this is now resolved. (Yes, I got the IEP back, but I literally don’t even have 5 minutes to read it this week.)

In other news in the world of autism, 14 year old Alex Spourdalakis was killed on Sunday. You’ll remember that I posted about this child with severe autism not getting appropriate medical treatment this spring and essentially being tortured (chained to bed naked for 59 days) by Loyola Hospital. He was found stabbed to death with his mother and godmother passed out on the bed. They were taken to the hospital and found to have narcotics in their system. Dorothy, his mother, was arrested and both she and the godmother with first degree murder.

First of all, may Alex rest in peace. It’s my hope that he is with God now. Secondly, I feel horrible about this. I truly believe that murder is NEVER the answer, but I wonder what was going through these women’s brains when they chose this course of actions. How far into the land of despair could they have been? Had caring for Alex in such poverty against so many odds made them mentally break down? I’m sick about it, because whatever you think, that poor boy did  not deserve the awful life he’d been living since he first experienced such severe pain back in the fall.  Of course, we don’t know all the details, but this is a true tragedy.

If you are raising a child with a disability that makes them violent (and autism DOESN’T on its own make you violent, OK??), PLEASE seek help for yourself as well as your child! Email me, honestly, and I’ll help you find support, one way or another, if you need it. Hurting your child out of desperation, killing him because you can’t see a good future right now, is never the answer. Please believe that there is a way!

And now for some levity, because we need it: