Today’s lovelies:
Cool as a cucumber
I’m floundering this morning, and it was because of a single act. One of my kids was extremely challenging this morning and I struggled, with both carrot and stick, to get her off to school. As I did, someone stared at me. And looked away when I stared back, but then continued to stare again at the “show” going on nearby.
This doesn’t sound like an act of cruelty. “But Gina, you admit it’s a person’s right to stare at confusing things. And maybe this person was trying to figure out how to help?”
You’re correct, but that doesn’t mean that this was not an act of cruelty. At the very least, you must admit it’s rude. For whatever reason this person chose to sit and watch my hardship this morning, my mind took it and ran off to interpret:
He obviously thinks I’m a bad mother. Why am I so awful at discipline? Why am I charged with this when I’m so continuously not up to the job? Why am I such a failure, all the time, with my children?
And so on, until the tears came. (Good grief, how I hate crying! Wish got made me of tougher stuff.) Please don’t pity me, I’m just thin-skinned and I know it. In fact, I sit here now, my stomach roiling because that stare upset me so much. And I read an entire book of the Bible and did a ton of chores to calm down, and I’m still not doing great. Lately, I haven’t been feeling so good about the human race in general, which is atypical of me, but there was a bright spot. Last week, someone did something nice for my child – someone I’ve never met, someone who possibly has been upset about what’s been going on with my kid in school. This person took the time to do a Good Deed for my girl, who’s been struggling so much. I was so moved I called and left a voicemail of how much it meant to me, even though I don’t know her at all.
Today when you are going through your day, please remember that your minor actions have power even over strangers. Flipping off the guy in the car in front of you. Holding the door open for someone. Gossiping about people you barely know. Buying someone a coffee. Staring at someone’s misfortune. Making treats for someone else. It all adds ups and YOU have the power to make or break someone’s day even if you don’t know them.
I’m not asking you to “pay it forward.” I’m asking you to BREAK the me-centered lens that all of us use to view our lives and take a moment – a single MOMENT – to have compassion on your fellow man, woman or child, because just a moment can make or break someone’s day.
peace to you,
g
Jessica @FoundtheMarbles says
My heart hurt just reading that story, but I am so glad to hear that the good outweighs the bad.
Gina B says
Thanks Jessica. Been a rough day, but it’s nearing it’s end! There’s always tomorrow, right?
Cat says
i’m thin-skinned too, and i’m so sorry he hurt your feelings. i try to look at it from his side. maybe he stared because he has the same problem with his kid, or maybe he’d been sharp with his wife or his sister about discipline and he was realizing his error. maybe not, either, but sometimes this loosens my shame. sending you and your girl peace and strength.
Gina B says
Thanks, Cat! I know in my struggle to forgive, I thought of some of those, but that stare…it was very uncomfortable. Today was rough from the outside (poor sleep, cranky child), but I know that I do have to work on forgiveness, and hope tomorrow’s better 🙂