Today, I’m really tired of talking, thinking, writing, and for Pete’s sake, reading about special needs. I. am. so. done.
Maybe this is the fault of going to BlogHer11, of being a regular woman for 3 WHOLE DAYS and it has tilted my world view, made me remember what I was missing. Maybe it was the lovely anniversary dinner last weekend at P.F. Chang’s, a 3 hour food fest in which hubby and I talked like adults…nothing about the kids, no kids around, just 2 grown ups eating fine food and drinking expensive liquor.
Or maybe it’s just mid-40s PMS.
Whatever it is, I want a break from paperwork, education, research, cooking instruction, therapeutic philosophies, special needs law cases, and the freakin’ disability alphabet soup. Right now, I do not want to hear any sentences that include, in whole or in part, the words, “functioning”, “typical”, or “spectrum”. In 2 weeks, I’ll be up to my eyeballs in it as school starts.
I just want to pretend for a few days or weeks that my kids are as right in their skin as any other kid, any kids at all.
Aren’t they? Are they? Yea, yea, I know what you’re thinking, but you ALSO know what I mean, so stop telling me to “hang in there” or how good a mother I am or “they are happy in their skins!!”. I know exactly how much more I can bear, and I know exactly where I fall on the good-bad mother … continuum. (See? No “s” word!)
And I know exactly where they stand next to other kids.
So when there is a tantrum, today, it’s just bad behavior. When there is an eating obsession, it’s just that the blueberries are that damn good. If someone has their clothes off, it’s because it’s another hot day in August.
Mama needs a break from this mental, ongoing stress, because I have a long, long journey ahead. OK with you?
Stacy says
Just found your blog through a post on she speaks.com….looking forward to reading about your life….my older son, Justin was born in November 2007 and when he was 2 years old we found out he had mosaic Down syndrome so I was happy to come across your info. 🙂
Audrey says
We all need a day off. We all need a break. Do something special for you. I always choose to do something that not only makes me smile at the time, but when I look back can also bring a smile to my face 🙂
admin says
Thanks Audrey! I do have respite care this weekend, and 2 days “away” in September. I just need to not be surrounded by special needs for a bit, ya know? all better now.
Sheemay says
Even moms should have a break even for short period of time. We need rest too, right?
Lola T says
I know taking care of kids with special need is so much fun. I have a school near my apartment. I enjoy spending my time their. I feel you might get some time to work on the time to manage your week hopeful you will over come your stress. No worries. All the best.
Melinda-LooKWhatMomFound..and Dad too! says
hope you’ve been able to get our rest and break. We all need some time to regroup and destress.
admin says
Thanks, Melinda! We actually did have respite care yesterday and a nice lazy day today.
barak says
I hope you learn how not to erode as a mom, and find the balance between taking a break and being a mom to you children.