If I Weren’t a Mom…

Ah motherhood, that time when you get to sit back, relax and raise little ones to do those extra chores around the house. It’s a breeze, right?

Oh wait, I MUST be getting confused. Because I can’t remember the last time I got to kick back and put my feet up…

Instead, I’m feeling overwhelmed. Underappreciated. Pooped – as in, I’m tired of cleaning poop. (Hm, time to get rid of my cat??)

I am relatively sure that a lot of it has to do with Amelia going to middle school in the fall, in a new building, with a whole new staff, and a lot of classmates moving leaving for a different middle school. No matter how I slice it, it’s a good chance that this September, like last year, won’t be a cakewalk. (Cake? Did I just say cake? Because I sure could use some RIGHT now!)

If I’m REALLY going, to be honest with you, while I love my kids to death and wouldn’t trade my life for the world, a little gnat has been buzzing in my brain about how life would be if I didn’t have kids.

Better off without??

It goes something a little like this:

If I weren’t a mom…

• I’d still be living in beautiful New York City! Of course, all the nice places are gentrified, overpopulated and over-expensive and I wouldn’t have a house or a yard. I’d be in hell with the parking because I need a stupid car for visiting. I’d be subject to smog, pollution and the Disney-fication of all my old cool hangouts. And yea, I’d be poor – have you SEEN what groceries go for in NY??
• I’d be able to travel the world! Sure, because having a husband with a phobia of flying means no problem taking that plane ride to Italy…not.
• I’d be able to spend more time on my blog! Well, wait – that would not be Mom-Blog, because I wouldn’t be a mom, and if I were never a mom, I would have never been a blogger, and if not a blogger, then never a writer, and not making the awesome living I’m making now, EVEN if I would actually have time to write, lol.
• I’d have better fashion sense and a bigger wardrobe! Well, ok, I have to give myself that one. Although how would I afford it? I would because I’d be stuck in a boring dead-end office job, with a SERIOUS case of the Mondays every day most likely, doing something boring. Instead, I’m a professional blogger, writing about stuff I care about like eating clean and better blogging.
• I’d have more free time. For what? To “somehow” go green and get healthy? Not likely! Sheesh, I can barely resist eating out NOW. I’d PROBABLY be still loading up on fast food and catered MSG. And, you know, I *still* wouldn’t be working on that novel…

But there IS a flip side.

Because I am a mom:

• I moved to this awesome area and met some great local bloggers and my best friends ever at my current church.
• I found God. For reals.
• I found a community I adore – ok, well, several – autism mamas and the gluten-free community and eco-warrior women and Mamavation and…and…and…
• I have a career that uses my God-given talents and that I love TO DEATH.
• I have grown and matured in ways I never imagined possible.
• I’m stronger, yet softer; smarter, yet SO OVER the practice of “intellectualizing”; wiser yet still amazed by the beauty all around me, God and my children.
• I *may* have extended my life and definitely have improved my health by learning what to eat and use – and what not to. Although that *may* just be wishful thinking 😉
• I have two beautiful, amazing, awesome loving children that make me smile EVERY DAY.
• Because of that, I have a better marriage, and I can see the poetry in the world, and the beauty of this life.
• I know, without a doubt, how blessed I am.

So I say, BRING IT ON: the paperwork. The complications of special diets. The extra school meetings. The messy walls in my house covered with indelible paint, the toy clay smashed into my new carpet, the poop. YES, even the POOP. BRING it, ’cause I would trade THIS life for all the parties in Manhattan.

P.S. Thanks, girls, I love you  – not for these things, but just for exactly who you are.

Help for Autism Moms is here!!! Plan your child’s month and year right now with ease, with my new workbook: