Wednesday was Amelia’s graduation from Seven Generations Elementary School. The few of you who’ve been with this blog since the beginning are probably as stunned as I am! I mean, remember this!
Man, does time fly. On Wednesday night, my little girl graduated elementary school. Zoe’s wonderful aide, Michelle, offered to watch Zoe so we could enjoy the party.
Sunshine, lollipops and…wait, that’s not right…
Now I would love the rest of this to be a wonderful, mind blowing story about what a wonderful night it was, but it was too much for Amelia. It started early on, when the skirt we had bought for her recital was not cooperating and rode up – and down. I put leggings on her and it looked awesome but she wanted no part of the skirt right before getting on stage.
Ok, as long as she’s comfortable – plus she’s wearing her beloved new shoes – only she didn’t love them so much a little while later, lol. She was up on stage for 90% of the event, but faced the wall for a good portion. She was in the bathroom for an extended amount of time during the cup song that her class performed.
The 5th grade ended by singing the goodbye song from “Sound of Music” and she ran over to sit on my lap.
You have to understand, she’s 70+ pounds and 11 – I can’t remember the last time she did this in public. She was having an emotional reaction that looked like she was ticked off, but honestly I think she was overwhelmed with grief. A LARGE portion of her class is moving on and not going to 7 Gen’s Middle School. Thank Jesus, her best bud is staying because she’s going to be slammed with changes come the fall, starting with school starting before the holiday and a week before her sister. So she’ll travel alone for the first few days. OUCH.
Don’t get me wrong, there were some good parts. Everyone was supposed to hold their applause for groups of 5 to get their diplomas, but Amelia was the first name called – AND got plenty of applause! I knew it was wrong, but I had to HOOT for my child 🙂 And her teacher, Ms. Brook, gave an awesome, teary talk about how she is always going to be their teacher, how they always belong here. She told me, too, that she’d be dropping by the middle school to visit her.
I know she knows she won’t be returning to that building except for her sister’s stuff. She went on tour to her new building (they did this for all the kids and their new schools). She got a beautiful photo, cards, gifts and lovely words from all her former teachers! Her aide and Zoe’s are going to visit with the girls this summer too. There were tears and I’m in grief too. It’s the end of very good something that helped to grow my child. She still has a long way to go…
And that brings me to the next part of this post. Is she ready for the 6th grade? She’s levels behind the other kids in many academics (unlike her sister) and I know SHE knows. That was part of the struggle in this school year – not just losing her best friend who moved away, but also realizing (perhaps for the first time) that the kids are not on her level anymore. She never articulated this but I just *knew*. She’s cried way more than she has before, and yeah, I know some of that is hormones, but some is this awareness, I can FEEL it.
Just like on Wednesday when I knew that graduation was painful for her.
She’s not the type to EVER – and I do mean EVER – hold on to pain but I’m really worried about what will happen in the 6th grade, with a whole new staff, building, lockers – and strange kids, lots and lots of them. Will they mock her? Will bullying step (back) into my life?
I need a drink. A good stiff drink…
But I’ve learned too much over the past year and a half to succumb to that. In fact, I’ve come to a few conclusions – one just tonight – to ease my worry.
1. God has this. Not me, they are not MY kids, they are HIS. Always have been, and apparently a lesson I have to relearn regularly.
2. Public school – albeit grade K – was a perfect disaster for her, a wasted year she learned nothing. And while the upcoming school year may not be what we want it to be already, if I pulled her without trying this middle school, I’d FOREVER be second guessing that decision – especially if anything went haywire in public. Yea that just clicked for me this afternoon.
3. I have to hope for the best. The school could improve. She could improve. We’ve JUST started detox and we have nearly 3 months of that before returning. At this age, a child can go through great changes in 3 months. OR not-I won’t count any chickens.
I’m not worrying anymore.
OK, I’m lying 🙂 I’m always going to worry, some small part of me, because I’m human not perfect. But she’ll make her way, she’ll make her way, I know it. I got today a little bit of news that could be great news about the situation but it’s too soon to make heads or tale of things that might happen in August yet.
And maybe, just MAYBE, the next graduation will be wonderful…
