Looking back is a good thing, sometimes.
You need to see where you’ve been to understand how far you’ve come. This is an article I originally posted on December 13, 2010, before our journey had really started. The photo above was taken a few years earlier at Zoe’s 3rd birthday. Those two photos are within a short span of each other. On the left, before she blew out her candles; on the right, after eating the cake. I remember this birthday clearly because shortly after the photo on the right, she was so upset she had to be put to bed, and all the kids went home while the grown-ups filled up their wine glasses. She missed a portion of her own birthday. Mama guilt like that is not easy to forget!
Yet if I had *just* opened my eyes, it’s clear that the meltdown was maybe not the influx of people and sensory like we thought, but the influx of gluten, dairy, soy, dyes (that cake is BRIGHT GREEN), and sugar and God knows what else. It took almost no time at all after clean eating for her to last through an entire birthday party, even if it was not her own.
Without further ado, here is my post from just a few months before we started changing their diets, when we embarked on biomed to help my daughter stop having horrible birthdays.
So this all started a while ago. I had a friend from when I used to live in the Poconos who cured her son of all kinds of disorders just by realizing that he had extreme allergies to most of what he ate. We talked a number of times but frankly, I was so naive I didn’t believe Zoe had autism for a long, and I didn’t think sensory issues were a big deal because I’d seen amazing progress from therapy. I blindly thought things could only get better on their own. Besides, my friend’s children had allergies issues, my kids had disorders.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
OK, go ahead, laugh at my expense. So many people had no idea what autism is, for Pete’s sake, they can’t even figure out what causes autism, why some kids get it while others don’t, why it affects boys more often, etc. I’m not alone in my cluelessness and I worked for many, many years to be hopeful and optimistic.
The thing is it’s become a ridiculous amount of work to get Zoe…well, anywhere. It’s a battle for her to wear a shirt, never mind a coat, even in cold weather. Sleep is a nightly battle…don’t even recall the last time I slept all the way through. And she’s in no way ready for kindergarten, much less full-time school!
Then, 2 years or so after that last talk with my Pocono friend, a bunch of things started happening. First, my daughter’s aide tells me about melatonin. Then my pastor tells me he used to be a vitamin guy for years and knows what supplements do what, and even recommends a few. Next, my neighbor tells me she’s going to a DAN doctor, something, believe it or not, I’ve never even heard of! (UPDATE: DAN = “defeat autism now”, and DAN doctors are those who take an in-depth and usually biomedical approach to relieving the symptoms. Doctors no longer refer to themselves as this. They are now integrated with MAPS: The Medical Academy of Pediatric Special Needs.) A few more weeks go by. Zoe gets harder and harder to get on the bus, owing to her refusal to wear a shirt or a coat as it gets colder & colder. Sleep is nearly impossible. My ability to create solutions reaches new heights of creativity but saps my energy.
Then this week, as my mind is broadening to find new solutions, I am contacted by someone from my daughter’s school who has lots of ideas for me after reading my blog. AND this weekend met more people who told me great things they heard about taking children off dairy, and how spaghetti squash can replace our house’s staple of wheat pasta.
In addition to the challenges with Zoe, we are now having issues with Amelia. Dietary? I don’t know. Zoe’s sleeplessness can be keeping up Amelia. It’s one of those things it’s easy to forget: how is this affecting my other child?
So we begin, gently, with a few more supplements, and replacing dairy. And look, the supplements have already arrived! Wish me luck.
Today, we know that food caused so many of her struggles and were easy to fix and heal completely. She sleeps just fine, she wears clothes even alone at home and I have no problem dressing her for winter either. If only I had seen what was right before my eyes, but I guess I have to be content that it’s all in God’s good time.
admin says
Thank you, I will!
admin says
Thank you, I will!
Carrie says
Hindsight is 20/20 and all that? We can second guess all we want, but sometimes we have to walk the path to learn the lesson on our own.
Now you are able to share your experience with others. The fact that you share it so authentically may cause someone else to stop and actually process ideas that they don’t want to consider.
Years too late, I wonder what might be different had I sought treatment for someone at a much younger age. Instead we chose to view their differences as they way they would always be and something to overcome with strategies. We have in latter years reached out for help. What would have changed had we made that decision from the beginning?
I don’t know. I know we chose the path we felt was right. I know it worked for us. And when it stopped working we chose to go down a different path.
Would love for you to share this on #TheocentricThursdays!
Have a great weekend!
Blessings,
Carrie Ann Tripp
Gina says
Thank you Carrie Ann! I will share it. I find that as a Christian, though, I can say, “This happened when God wanted it to.” I have a friend who is always questioning why God will NOT let her take this route for her son who has autism. It’s not her path, that’s all. And he is NO LESS PRECIOUS without these interventions than my daughter is with them. There is a big lesson in that, and I pray I never lose site of it.
Carrie says
I’m dropping in to #TheocentricThursday participants this week and leaving links to who they are supposed to comment on this week to make sure everyone understands how it works. It works best for the hosts record-keeping if everyone clicks the links on the actual blog hop, but when it comes right down to it, we’re more concerned with everyone receiving at least two comments per week! So, as the first entry this week, you get the confusing posts to comment on. They are:
#4 http://www.inlinkz.com/displayurl.php?id=23936650
and
#3 http://www.inlinkz.com/displayurl.php?id=23935446
Please let me know if you have any questions!
Blessings,
Carrie Ann Tripp
Matilda says
Gina, this is so revealing! We are indeed perishing for lack of knowledge. Thank you for opening our eyes to see what we usually ignore before we realize too late!
Gina says
Thanks, Matilda! I can be very oblivious at times. God has taught me that it’s a selfish trait – in me, at least. I’m grateful for His guidance.
Mary Geisen says
I love how you not only have identified why your daughter has sensory issues but also you are being so proactive in doing all you can to address it and make it easier for your daughter. As an elementary teacher, I found the parents who accepted their child had autism were able to better understand and cope with all of the things that came up academically or otherwise in the school setting. Even if you did not recognize it for what it was at first, don’t beat yourself up because you are doing what you need to do now. I commend you and will pray as you move forward with your daughter. Visiting you from Theocentric Thursdays
Gina says
Thank you Mary! Your words mean a lot, but it is very true that acceptance and not beating myself up did take a long time to conquer – with a whole lot of grace from God! He is good to His children always, even when we are clueless LOL.
Chris Carter says
Wow Gina! It’s just such an amazing journey you have been on to learn so much about what affects your girls and how… I’m thrilled you have figured out so many answers that have helped the girls and YOU in parenting them. 🙂
Gina says
Thank you Chris! All the answer were put before me, I simply followed 🙂
Thomas Ives says
Wow, such an inspiring and informative lesson learned. Such a shame that some of the food we need can also harm us. Thank you for sharing.
Gina says
Thanks Thomas! It is a shame. We need to be so vigilant about what we eat and feed our loved ones.
Susan Gaddis says
Eye opening and very needed. Thank you for sharing your journey. It gives me understanding to the roller coaster ride parents must go through when first trying to figure out “what’s wrong.”
Gina says
Glad to provide that! We are blessed, too, that we had a diagnosis. I have friends who have never got one and it made their journey so much more challenging.
Lori says
What a challenge you face – and I’m in awe of how you’ve worked through to find solutions. I’m imagining this post provides such hope for others – but even for those of us who face different, personal challenges, it’s a lesson in perseverance and trying new options. Thank you for sharing.
Gina says
Honestly, Lori, patience and perseverance are things I never thought I would have! It’s interesting how God provides us exactly with the challenge we need to build those skills.
katelyn says
A good read! I’ve never dealt with autism personally but I’m constantly trying to find things in my daughters diet (and my own) to cut down on moodiness. I feel like everywhere we turn someone is offering her artificial junk. I wish it were more widely shared how important our diets are, so thanks for sharing:)
Gina says
Thank you! Yes, everyone offers kids junk. We have to be so vigilant about food and how it makes them feel.
Andi says
do one piece at a time – see what works – and what doesn’t work – I’m on the Spectrum (Aspie) – and I sometimes feel like a guinea pig with all the stuff out there – but it works – so keep workin on it!
Gina says
Thanks, Andi! I appreciate your input. Yea, one step at a time. That was hard for me to learn; I’m one of those people who jump in all at once. That’s usually a bad idea too!