Yesterday was a toughie because we were exhausted from a fully loaded day and got home late, and God help us, it was Monday. So when I found blue gel all over the walls – naturally in the middle of cooking, while Chris was out and with Amelia actually lying about what her sister was doing, I guess, to protect her (not sure to be happy or sad about that one), I lost it.
Always in motion. Always a blur.
L.O.S.T. It.
I didn’t want to scream at Amelia…well, no, I did want to, I just didn’t.
Or at least, not much.
I didn’t want to tell Zoe she was bad, but I did, then stopped and apologized, and told her her actions were bad. She had ice pack gel on her, so I put her in the shower, praying the chopped meat didn’t burn, turning off the rice, and leaving my ear cocked for the telltale sound of the garage door opening, while I scrubbed the wall clean.
Or, tried to. Turns out gels doesn’t come off paint. We used towels (ruined), knives (gouged the sheetrock) and screwdrivers (scraped off the paint), but the gel held on with the tenacity of white toothpaste on your new red silk shirt.
It was there, in the bathroom that rage struck.
RAGE
I’ve been reading for months and months about parents who’ve visibly seem damage that happened to their children directly after vaccinations. I’ve read tale after tale about how this food and that toxin was removed and along with it, behaviors, insomnia, sinus problems, skin rashes, diarrhea – all just gone, despite doctors saying, “Change won’t help.” I’ve seen my kids improve with B12 shots and probiotics and pure supplements and a clean diet, and fall off the rails when I let slip salsa or chocolate, or they sneak a gluten or some dairy.
I’ve seen kids with severe struggles and disabilities that mimic the road my Zoe was on until we started to make these changes, and I think “There but for the grace of God go I.”
I don’t blame her for the gel incident. Or for writing on my walls. Or for smiling at me, happy and clueless, as she sits on the toilet with yet another month of “nothing happening.” Or for taking her shirt off all the time. Or stimming so much it freaks me out.
I don’t think this is the way God intended her brain, that’s all.
And there, in the bathroom, as I stood, praying for God to help me not to unleash my fury on my children, I got angry. Really angry.
Jesus-whipping-money-changers angry.
I mean think about it: if someone hurt your child and lied about it, would you say, “Oh well, la-di-dah”? And if it happened over and over AND OVER? Or just once, and your child was altered beyond repair? You’d be pissed.
What right on this good green Earth of God’s do corporations have to eliminate healthy, pure, natural food and destroy our access to it? By what power do they have to shove junk down our kids’ throats and lie, lie, lie, about its healthiness – or lack thereof? By what privilege do food scientists think they can strip out all the nutrients in our food, package it with dyes, sugars, and other crap, and freaking inject the vitamins back in as if that makes it healthy?
SICK
I’m sick of this. I’m sick of seeing children with weight issues, thyroid issues, health issues, dark circles, death coughs, stim behaviors, ADD, ADHD, impulse control, anxiety disorders, ODD, OCD, rage issues… the list goes on and on. It’s hard enough when you have those problems from the actions of those around you, built up over time, and as an adult. To have them when you are 3, 4, 5 when you’ve only lived in a home filled with love…what is going on here? I can’t waste the time beating myself up for mistakes, and poor choices, and not seeing the light sooner but I can be angry. And no one, as far as I can tell, that’s elected is doing a damn thing about it – and I really don’t think they can. This has to be all grassroots. We parents have to stand up for our kids, heal them, help them, use our dollars and voices and blogs to speak our mind, take a little thing – like GMOs – and make a big movement like Mamavation did with labeling GMOs.
At least that issue is going to the ballot, but what about the others? Who is shutting up Dr. Oz? Why doesn’t anyone know what really happened with Dr. Wakefield and the MMR debacle? Why doesn’t anyone ask where all the recent research on vaccines is, and why isn’t anyone concerned that they are all backed on preservatives? Why is Gardasil reduced to the drug that stupid Christians won’t take, and does anyone see the disconnect between giving this to a boy?
Why is no one answering these questions?
And why is that all the doctors who will are doing something are also healing family members of their own with autism or cancer or other conditions?
DO SOMETHING
Our kids need help. So what can you do?
If you care, if you are angry, if you think enough is enough, check out these resources:
- Recovering Kids is a great resource with tons of information on how to help your child. I highly recommend you join their Facebook group.
- Get your science, research and helpful webinars from Autism Research Institute.
- Protect your child from autism wandering with tools and resources from the NAA.
- Get more information at TACAnow and find a local conference or support group.
That’s just a few. Find your key issues and get up and FIGHT BACK for your kids’ health, your grandkid’s, and all the children who deserve a safe environment, safe food, and freedom for their parents to choose their health care. Also, you can follow me on Facebook – this is not a “please help me” thing, but every week I’m sharing petitions about this and other issues, so you can add your voice for your children.
Credit Donkey says
I am terribly short-tempered. Being a single mom it is very easy to lose it. I sympathize with you very much. My kids are normal but the fact that I have no one to share my woes with and to help me with everything makes it difficult for me. I have to consistently remind myself to keep it together.
admin says
I think we’re all frustrated to an extent, but I’m sorry that you are alone. I hope to make a community where we can all come together. But you can check out supportforspecialneeds.com in the meantime, run by a lovely lady named Julia. You can also look for special needs Facebook groups, and please also check out local resources as well. No one should do this alone!