Image: Pixomar / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Don’t worry, nobody looks like this! It’s the result of Photoshopping.
Ok, now before I start, you should know that I am a petite woman (5 feet tall) and the largest I’ve ever been is a size 10, for the excruciating year after Amelia’s birthday. You should also know that the thinnest I’ve ever been is a size 4, and that was for a few mere months after I had my stroke. Erego, anything in the 120 lb range means I’m sick and I don’t look good.
However, being short, thin framed, and small-breasted (I LIKED being preggers for the boobs), if I gain a few pounds, my clothes cease to fit, which is why I own some size 8 clothes, and I hate them with an intense passion.
I did also gain weight over this summer – not so much a pound measurement as waist tightening on my clothes. I’m thinking it was due to high levels of stress, or it could have been the donuts, or the lack of working out. I haven’t worked out in probably a year, my WiiFit board growing dusty in my office. My cholesterol went up too, and I was hugely ashamed.
Honestly, the level of shame I felt was disproportionate to the weight I’d gained. Even if I had gained weight through a stressful and tiring summer, so what? Shame is what you feel when you hurt someone very badly or you do something terribly wrong. Gaining a little weight? That’s life.
This, as you all know, is a woman thing. We feel completely defined by our weight, our looks, our age. Is this who we are? Then why do we all feel like sexy 25 year olds inside, just trapped in the wrong body?
So, I did get back on the Wii. I cringed as I pulled up the stats and… I’d lost weight, and I’d lost BMI.
Image: jscreationzs / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
WHAT??? How did… Ok, I know, it’s just a Wii, it’s not terribly accurate. And the fact is that scare was good for me to get me start moving my butt, because exercise is not just good for your weight, your health and your cholesterol, it also reduces stress and increases sex drive. (Yes, I read it in Self, lol…) But the feelings I had were completely false! I had not gained, I’d lost…and this peeled back the shame. A little, anyway.
My challenge to you is this: what if we tapped into that 25 year old that resides inside us? If we feel that way inside, why shouldn’t we let it light us up and feel good about ourselves? I didn’t get on the Wii yet today, and I had to take yesterday off for cramps, but the Halloween candy is gone, and I’ve started.
My 25 year old is screaming for release. I think it’s time to let her out to play. No more feeling bad about my body. It is what it is, and what it is ain’t bad. And God still loves it, and He’s proud of me for trying to make it better.
C’mon ladies, let your inner hottie out! How will you celebrate? (I’m buying some sexy jammies this weekend, you?)
Ginger says
I love working out. Not the actual working out but how I feel the next day, and the day after. I started running about a year and a half ago, after walking for about a year. The walking was intensely boring, and took to long, so one day I picked up the pace. I have heard that walking is actually better for women, but I simply prefer running. I have to say, I don’t really lose any weight..maybe 5-10lbs give and take (I fluctuate, so why would I keep running? THE MUSCLES!! I have never been more fit in my life. I love the shape of my runner legs,and I actually have an ASS!! Unfortunately, my lower body has never been my problem area. I’m short too..5’2″ (and weight -shhh 152 lbs. ack) with most of my weight on my torso. Thankfully, when I run, it slowly slims down the rest of me, but never completely. I have no waist and I doubt I will ever see one again in my life time. My pants all fall down on my, with nothing in the middle to keep them up. Picture trying to put a pair of pants on a balloon. You get the point. Regardless, I feel good, and I hope my body will continue to allow me to run for many years. As far as the 25yr old. Oh yeah. I know what THAT feels like. Unfortunately, the mirror tells me different..which is probably a good thing, because it keeps me dressing like a 25yr old. Which probably is NOT a good thing. xoxo
admin says
Ginger, you’re the 2nd friend I have that runs, and I am envious! I can’t because, long story short, I was never taught to either run or breathe properly as a child. So I run for about 2 minutes, fall way behind anyone I’m with, and I feel so winded like I’m going to die. Cardio I can do, like I don’t have this issue with kickboxing, for example. Just the running! So I use the Wii Fit, but I want better software.
Running is great because it allows you to think & create. And btw, it’s nice to meet another short woman!! lol…
admin says
Ha! The mirror lies, have you never heard Barlow Girl’s “Mirror, Mirror”?? lol… Running, hm… maybe I should try it. I have to learn how to breathe first though…
Ginger says
I love working out. Not the actual working out but how I feel the next day, and the day after. I started running about a year and a half ago, after walking for about a year. The walking was intensely boring, and took to long, so one day I picked up the pace. I have heard that walking is actually better for women, but I simply prefer running. I have to say, I don’t really lose any weight..maybe 5-10lbs give and take (I fluctuate, so why would I keep running? THE MUSCLES!! I have never been more fit in my life. I love the shape of my runner legs,and I actually have an ASS!! Unfortunately, my lower body has never been my problem area. I’m short too..5’2″ (and weight -shhh 152 lbs. ack) with most of my weight on my torso. Thankfully, when I run, it slowly slims down the rest of me, but never completely. I have no waist and I doubt I will ever see one again in my life time. My pants all fall down on my, with nothing in the middle to keep them up. Picture trying to put a pair of pants on a balloon. You get the point. Regardless, I feel good, and I hope my body will continue to allow me to run for many years. As far as the 25yr old. Oh yeah. I know what THAT feels like. Unfortunately, the mirror tells me different..which is probably a good thing, because it keeps me dressing like a 25yr old. Which probably is NOT a good thing. xoxo
admin says
Ginger, you’re the 2nd friend I have that runs, and I am envious! I can’t because, long story short, I was never taught to either run or breathe properly as a child. So I run for about 2 minutes, fall way behind anyone I’m with, and I feel so winded like I’m going to die. Cardio I can do, like I don’t have this issue with kickboxing, for example. Just the running! So I use the Wii Fit, but I want better software.
Running is great because it allows you to think & create. And btw, it’s nice to meet another short woman!! lol…
admin says
Ha! The mirror lies, have you never heard Barlow Girl’s “Mirror, Mirror”?? lol… Running, hm… maybe I should try it. I have to learn how to breathe first though…
Kelly says
I can totally relate to this post. I do exercise everyday. I haven’t taken a day off in over 3 months. BUT I haven’t lost an ounce and I weigh more than I have in my entire life (except when I was pregnant). I feel better because I do exercise, but I still struggle to find peace with my weight. Hopefully, I will eventually get the drive to lose the excess weight, but in the meantime I am working on being happy that I have a body that is healthy even if there are a few extra pounds.
admin says
EVERY DAY? I’m SO impressed…how did you develop that habit? I’m a week overdue to work out again.
Kelly says
I can totally relate to this post. I do exercise everyday. I haven’t taken a day off in over 3 months. BUT I haven’t lost an ounce and I weigh more than I have in my entire life (except when I was pregnant). I feel better because I do exercise, but I still struggle to find peace with my weight. Hopefully, I will eventually get the drive to lose the excess weight, but in the meantime I am working on being happy that I have a body that is healthy even if there are a few extra pounds.
admin says
EVERY DAY? I’m SO impressed…how did you develop that habit? I’m a week overdue to work out again.
Barbara Ling, Virtual Coach says
Strength training, that’s what does it for me.
You simply can’t go by the scales – not only does that measure ‘fat’, but also bone weight and water weight and what you just ate weight etc.
I go by inches – I’ll use a tape measure around my waist. It keeps me sane.
admin says
SMART lady! I have to get back on the Wii, maybe buy a better workout program.
Barbara Ling, Virtual Coach says
Strength training, that’s what does it for me.
You simply can’t go by the scales – not only does that measure ‘fat’, but also bone weight and water weight and what you just ate weight etc.
I go by inches – I’ll use a tape measure around my waist. It keeps me sane.
admin says
SMART lady! I have to get back on the Wii, maybe buy a better workout program.
Krisna says
Been there! Congrats on your success! Size 10 was quite comfortable for awhile (not mentally of course), but my youngest baby was still a baby. Now that they are 3 and 18 months old, I can no longer call it “baby fat”. I used to like waking up before my kids did to get a quick Insanity workout in. Unfortunately, my lazy behind doesn’t want to get up that early anymore, since I’ve been working into the late hours of the night. Fortunately I found BSkinny coffee and it has been a miracle! Energy, weight loss…. So much so, that I decided to become a distributor, just so I could have it all the time! Never again will I be 25 (thank goodness!), but at least I can now say I’m a fit 37 year old HOT MAMA!
admin says
Good grief, what on earth is an “insanity workout”? Reminds me of the time I went to a recommended gym class and the instructor screamed at me the whole time. I left early.
Krisna says
Been there! Congrats on your success! Size 10 was quite comfortable for awhile (not mentally of course), but my youngest baby was still a baby. Now that they are 3 and 18 months old, I can no longer call it “baby fat”. I used to like waking up before my kids did to get a quick Insanity workout in. Unfortunately, my lazy behind doesn’t want to get up that early anymore, since I’ve been working into the late hours of the night. Fortunately I found BSkinny coffee and it has been a miracle! Energy, weight loss…. So much so, that I decided to become a distributor, just so I could have it all the time! Never again will I be 25 (thank goodness!), but at least I can now say I’m a fit 37 year old HOT MAMA!
admin says
Good grief, what on earth is an “insanity workout”? Reminds me of the time I went to a recommended gym class and the instructor screamed at me the whole time. I left early.