If you saw me on Facebook last week, you might recall that I mentioned March was brutal. A Terrible Thing Happened, and no, I won’t discuss it. Anyway, this is a scary road that I need to travel, but I don’t go it alone. I’ve dived into the super deep end since last autumn with my faith, and I sort of had this feeling that I hadn’t been tested on some more advanced levels of trust. I mean, life has been REALLY good, especially the last 2 years (with the exception of the passing of my Dad, who I believe is with Mom in heaven).
I wasn’t waiting for the other shoe to drop; I was appreciating every moment, because I can see from the scorched landscape all around me that the good times can’t last forever. The “Bad” hit, and I clung with everything to God, as much as I could. I asked my church for prayers and scriptures, and they supplied it. I did What I Had To Do to better the situation, leaving the rest in God’s hands.
Still, I find, after all I’ve been through these last 15 years – my stroke, the high risk pregnancies, the girls’ health and behaviors, Alzheimers, Parkinsons, friends with cancer, 9/11 as a New Yorker, job loss, pay cuts – STILL, this is higher on the wire than I’ve been before.
And looking down is something I can’t help.
Why can’t I just continue to look up? How hard can be it be to trust a God who time and time again, has not only rescued me, but barely let me suffer the world’s pain? Why am I struggling to breathe, when I KNOW HE HAS MY BACK?
He has it, completely and utterly.
This is the day that we Christians remember the most important thing God ever did for us: sacrifice His son as payment for our debt to Him; the most important thing Jesus ever did for us: lay down His life to save His friends. Those of us who accept Him, know He has us covered because every single thing that happens to us is for our own good, even if it sucks at the time.
And if I were a better person, maybe I’d be pissed, but the further I walk on this road, the more glaring and painful and embarrassing my flaws – or rather, my sins – become. Things I didn’t notice a year or two ago feel like murder to me, and this trust issue when I’ve seen Him come through time and time AND TIME again, well, it’s just stupid. I know that.
Still, I remain the woman at the empty tomb, asking, “Where is He?” (Matthew 28:1-10)
He goes before me.
He stands behind.
He is always by my side.
Today’s celebration today is the truest reminder of that.
If you’re down in the dumps today, or life has handed you the bargain bushel of lemons, find help in Psalms 115-118 (traditional Jewish Seder psalms), Psalm 34, Psalm 20:1-5 NIV, Philippians 4:4-7, and the end of Job, as well as the actual Easter scriptures.
In your good, and your bad, your standing and your falling, I wish to each and every one of you a Happy, Blessed, and Joyous Easter. Peace out and enjoy this:
Image credit: Robert Aichinger
