This was a difficult weekend. Someone forged a copy of my check card, and charged up some electronics in another state, to the tune of roughly a mortgage payment. Chris’ unemployment ran out about 2 weeks ago and while he has a job offer (God willing), he won’t start for another week.
Which means that we are up the proverbial creek without a paddle.
I started to think about this. I know it’s a bad economy and that a lot more of this kind of thing is probably going on than usual (a forged credit card ring??). I know that people are desperate and that they view these things as victimless crimes.
But it’s not. I am a victim, and I am in no position to take a hit like this.
God is in control, I believe, and we did need to learn some financial lessons, but …
Well…
I’m having a hard time forgiving this person. A really hard time. Maybe I’d be more forthcoming with forgiveness had she spent her money at BJs or the grocery store or even on a car, but maybe that’s a lie I tell myself since those at least can be necessities, but at an electronics store and in the price range, well, it sounds frivolous. I guess that’s besides the point, stealing is stealing, and not every thief is Jean Valjean. And forgiveness does not mean, in my opinion, that one shouldn’t pay for their crimes, I feel very strongly about that, but will this person ever be caught?
As I wait for the resolution, all that’s left is for me to forgive this woman. I’d really, really rather not, but I have to. In truth, I’ve forgiven worse, people who’ve intentionally set out to hurt me or someone I love. In the end, it’s just stuff, even the house, the food on the table. I”m sure I can make it up to the teachers if I don’t have money by the last day of school to get them a thank you gift.
As I went to post this, I re-read the paragraph above, and realized it really is all stuff. I won’t go hungry to the point that I would be harmed. I don’t even think I’ll go homeless any time soon.
Why not forgive her?
So I did.
If you are a woman who has a phony credit card with my number and you spent money at two electronics stores on Saturday afternoon in Maryland, I forgive you, completely.
I ask you not to do it again, but instead, if you’re hurting, reach out for help, even here, even anonymously, if you need. Drop this life of crime, there’s a better way, even in hard times like these, I promise you.
And no, dear readers, it was not that simple, the forgiveness, but it did occur to me this weekend that as I calmly called the bank and others to cover my financial butt, that I was lashing out at my family in anger over this issue. That, too, prompted me to forgive. They don’t deserve my wrath, and neither do you. Justice is in God’s hands, especially in a case like this, not mine.
peace and love to you, g
*Matthew 18:21-22
UPDATE: Well, it turns out the person who grieved me the most about this is not the actual thief. It is a person, who probably makes close to if not more than $100k, who is trying to cheat me because of this situation, someone in a legitimate, upstanding, authoritative position, who has been problematic and costly in the past. Someone who did not bother with me until after I forgave the actual perpetrator. Coincidence? I think not, whenever you overcome one level of spiritual maturity almost immediately you’re backed into a corner. Bigger forces are at work behind this poor person and that alone will help me to forgive her.
Still working on it though…
conni p says
I am so sorry this is happening to you!! Please let me know if there is anything we can do to help. Tell me I don’t know this person that has taken advantage of you and your family. My father had his identity stolen once and he has never been the same. Sending positive thoughts your way!
admin says
Hi Conni, no worries, someone else helped us out in this situation, which proves there ARE good people in this world. The situation could have been so much worse. We (fortunately) took out some money from hardship, so we can survive. And Chris starts work Monday, and I have a few leads for extra work as well. We’ll be fine, as long as nothing major (like the car) breaks! Thank you!!
CJ says
I’ve always been told forgiveness is for ME, not the other person. But I still haven’t been able to find it within myself. I doubt I ever will…I’m so sorry for all of this, it’s the last thing you need to deal with.
admin says
CJ, you’re right about forgiveness, but some part IS for the other person. The ONLY way to influence people to better themselves is by showing them mercy and forgiveness, restoring their humanity, which they’ve lost, through the world, through pain, through their own distorted sense of pride.
Forgiveness says, “You are human, and no better than me. We are all equal in the eyes of God; your sins are no worse than mine.”
So yea, it’s for them too.
CJ says
I’ve always been told forgiveness is for ME, not the other person. But I still haven’t been able to find it within myself. I doubt I ever will…I’m so sorry for all of this, it’s the last thing you need to deal with.
admin says
CJ, you’re right about forgiveness, but some part IS for the other person. The ONLY way to influence people to better themselves is by showing them mercy and forgiveness, restoring their humanity, which they’ve lost, through the world, through pain, through their own distorted sense of pride.
Forgiveness says, “You are human, and no better than me. We are all equal in the eyes of God; your sins are no worse than mine.”
So yea, it’s for them too.
Laurie Wallin says
What a hard situation. What a heart you showed in the midst of it all. I struggle with forgiveness a lot too. Your title made me giggle because I recently told my husband that the 70×7 number is NOTHING compared to the amount of forgiving necessary to raise kids with emotional/behavioral disorders… or any kids for that matter. I think we hit the number in the first month each year! 🙂 But God knows…. and it’s so encouraging to hear how He’s working His love and healing in others in this area – thanks for sharing!!!
-Laurie
admin says
Thanks, Laurie. That’s very astute!! Yep we need to shell out a LOT of forgiveness. I once heard that having children is like a fast-track to being a more pleasing person in God’s eyes. I guess having special kids, it’s doubly so!
Laurie Wallin says
What a hard situation. What a heart you showed in the midst of it all. I struggle with forgiveness a lot too. Your title made me giggle because I recently told my husband that the 70×7 number is NOTHING compared to the amount of forgiving necessary to raise kids with emotional/behavioral disorders… or any kids for that matter. I think we hit the number in the first month each year! 🙂 But God knows…. and it’s so encouraging to hear how He’s working His love and healing in others in this area – thanks for sharing!!!
-Laurie
admin says
Thanks, Laurie. That’s very astute!! Yep we need to shell out a LOT of forgiveness. I once heard that having children is like a fast-track to being a more pleasing person in God’s eyes. I guess having special kids, it’s doubly so!
Laura Louden says
With such a positive attitude I’m sure things will turn around for your lovely family. I’m writing to share info on Annie Burnside’s lovely new book SOUL TO SOUL PARENTING. Website above.
Have a wonderful summer and wish your daughter sweet dreams about manatees.
admin says
Hi Laura, thank you for the link! And for your compliment. Yes, things will turn around.
Laura Louden says
With such a positive attitude I’m sure things will turn around for your lovely family. I’m writing to share info on Annie Burnside’s lovely new book SOUL TO SOUL PARENTING. Website above.
Have a wonderful summer and wish your daughter sweet dreams about manatees.
admin says
Hi Laura, thank you for the link! And for your compliment. Yes, things will turn around.