Early this morning, I had this strange dream. I don’t dream a lot and I don’t often remember the rare times I do, so I thought it kind of strange. It didn’t become relevant until later.
In the dream, I was in Staten Island, NY – I have no idea why. It was dusk or night, and I was on a well lit platform somewhere near the water but indoors – think NYC subway-ish. (Side note, my dreams ALWAY involve water, something I love but had a deep phobia of, which is why I can’t swim.)
Just when I got to the part of the dream where I stopped making my way to the train or whatever I was waiting for and started to wonder what I was doing here, I saw, at the end of the long and crowded corridor I was in, water approaching. So the scenario: I’m in a subway tunnel with a 10′ high wall of water heading for me. I couldn’t swim in the dream either, so I was pretty sure I was going to die. Rather than my life flashing before my eyes, I sought high ground and ran for areas near poles or things I could possibly shimmy up.
The water hit (not cold or shocking) and somehow I let it carry me up to the top of a concrete ledge which I was hanging by from the tip of my fingers. I was in water that had stopped rising for a moment, but unable to swim, was hanging on for dear life. The concrete had a seem in and my wet fingers sought purchase there, but I knew I couldn’t hold long.
Hanging by a Thread…
I superhumanly tugged myself up (why can’t I be this strong IRL?) and saw that the other side of the ledge held something I could slide down to a safer, drier area and had desks and shelves piled up. I slid down to relative/temporary safety, and even though I could have broken my leg or something at the distance, I don’t think I did.
Then I woke up. The odd thing was that during the dream, except for the first few moments, I didn’t feel any fear or panic, even though I knew that I would be lucky to survive. And who knows if I did?
Happy to be up, I got the kids out of bed. It IS Monday, so not so easy? But after that?
Manic Monday?
More Like Screaming-Crying-Insane Monday
“Tsunami” would give a run for the money on how difficult this morning was. I feel less than evil, though, since it took me an entire 45 minutes not to lose my termper. And no profanity (bad!) or taking the Lord’s name in vain (worse!). But still.
Is it just that it’s Monday? Residual illness/allergies for the kids? Puberty coursing angry hormones? I don’t know. It was just weird though, because after school, one of my children didn’t even want to get off the bus – an unusual incident. She was begging for home.
What?? They were itching for school for a week ago! For the last few weeks of summer, they (and me) were climbing the walls. And the detrimental effects of not going to Florida?
Forget about it!
And forget that whole “barely verbal” thing about Zoe. Up until the day before school started, she would pack whatever – lunch box, purse, knapsack, luggage – lug it down here to my garage door and then:
“Airplane?”
Not “pool”. Not “swim”. Not “school”. Not even “cookie”. JUST “AIRPLANE”.
I’m not exactly sure how many times you have to say, “No, we’re not going to Florida this summer” before a kid gets it, but I’m pretty sure I got to about 100, 200 time so…
And hubby? He’s all, “I can’t bring them! I’m the worst Dad ever! No Disney! I’ve failed!”
To which I am like, “Spoiled, overprivileged are words that CAN APPLY to kids with special needs!”
Because seriously, Little Girl of Mine, if the WORST thing that happened to you this summer is missing out on a plane ride to Orlando, you need to learn how to get down on your knees and thank God, like I do, that it wasn’t SOMETHING FAR WORSE.
And dear girl in puberty, “HMPF!” will not get you on a plane either. What it will do is take away privileges, like TV, DS and nondairy frozen treats. Which is the land we are living in for the next 3 very VERY long day. FUN!
But I digress.
I don’t put much stock in dreams. All I can say is this week has hit me like a tidal wave and I’m falling way way back in what I need to do and get done. I need to step up and get it together with my faith because I’m pretty sure ONLY God can handle what’s going on as we (slowly and oh-so-painfully) transition BACK to school.
Image courtesy of bplanet, at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.
Jo-Lynne Shane {Musings of a Housewife} says
Back to school transition is ALWAYS tough on my middle. I feel your pain. 🙂
Gina B says
Ah, I’m so sorry! The wonder of it is I always forget! Maybe that’s a mercy in disguise?
Heather says
We’ve had a rough back to school as well. I can’t seem to get a good routine!
Gina B says
Yea, well, the afternoon went better, much better! Too many changes: new school, new aide, LOTS of new kids, new bus company, new driver. ACK. Overload. At least it’s her 3rd grade teacher now in 6th.
carrie says
I never do well with transition. This one has been a doozy too! I can’t wait for a few more weeks when everything feels stable. You’re not alone, momma!
Gina B says
You too? Yea a few more weeks hopefully will do it! At least one is doing ok. Last year it was both.
Julia says
I think change is hard on all of us. My son does not do well with it and this back to school week has been a mixed bag.
Gina B says
Sorry to hear that. At least we’re not alone. Hope they all get back on track quickly.
Reesa says
This was actually very comforting to read. For some reason I was not expecting this mix of emotions I have felt the last 2 weeks as we transition back to school. I’ve never had this before. Maybe because this year is so different with school everyday and new schedules, etc. Everyone is cranky, tired, I’ve been an emotional mess.
This too shall pass….right?!
Gina B says
Yes! It will pass. It IS tough on us parents, too, when their schedules change. We forget how it affects our own lives and it can really make us emotional. Last year, I was unprepared, but I knew Middle School was a BIG change. I’m so glad you found comfort in my post. (This is my favorite part of blogging.)
Barb @ A Life in Balance says
Hugs! The first week is always the worst. My kids were constantly bickering the last week of summer, and then the first week of school. I’ll leave them at home, and go to Florida myself!
Gina B says
Thanks, Barb. At least they don’t bicker but I will say their vocabulary was limited to NO! for the whole last 2 weeks of summer. Florida alone-I WISH!!! Seriously, are you going to one of those Florida conference? Hubby will never let me go on my own 🙁