Well, it’s been a rough couple of days of parenting. After suffering from a major brain stupidity cloud, I realized that I had NOT put my signed part of Amelia’s IEP in the bag before she got sick. Teacher had sent me a mailer and I thought it was something else.
Yesterday was the crowning piece. Someone left the 2nd outdoor gate open at the daycare and Amelia TOOK OFF INTO THE PARKING LOT.Â Oh God. I honestly wish I felt remorse for the screaming banchi I turned into after that, but my heart beats fast just thinking about it. The daycare is off an exit off a tiny expressway – but still. Poor Zoe I nearly dragged across the lot to catch her. Even when Amelia is ahead, she ALWAYS go right to the car – but she saw her advantage and took it.
I had a talk with Hubby. I hate to be Militant Mom, but I’ve enforced a one-time policy. Do it once, get a warning, even LOOK you’re doing it again, get a time out and IF you won’t go to timeout you go DIRECTLY to bed, screw the baths or dinner. I did that all night long over everything. It’s NOT that I care about this or that, juice in the living room or whatever, is that she MUST learn to do what I say.
Not sure how to get from here to absolute obedience but I have to try.
This morning was awful too. Kids were really out of it. Zoe’s been tantruming, but I’m starting to think at least some of them are “I want my way” and not “why don’t you understand me?”
Sometimes I think, “this is the hard part of parenting” and then I remember, it’s all hard parts. Worth it, yes, but I can’t remember the last bit of parenting that was easy on me. Sigh…but God, I do love them. I could spend all night squeezing and hugging, doubly so now that I’m working. The ball and chain of guilt keeps coming down on me, and also missing Zoe’s days and nights. Perhaps that’s why she’s so needy at night for me, she misses me during the day. Cause I sure miss them. FT parenting at home is hard, but FT work is too. Who knew?