A few years ago, we were totally new to special diets and I felt like I was losing my mind in the kitchen. (Seriously, cooking gluten free bread that doesn’t rot in a heartbeat is NOT for the faint of heart or for those with few baking skills.) At that time, I wrote up a gift guide that included lots of kitchen items. After all, I was spending a ton of time cooking and I needed things to make my life much easier.
But now, 4 years have gone by and I’m done with the kitchen gifts. Ok, I’ll drool – for a few minutes – over a new cookbook, but mostly? Not what I wnat.
And truly? Usually not what most women want.
So guys, don’t buy your woman stuff for the kitchen. And don’t get her tech unless she’s a techie or gamer. And please don’t buy her a sonic toothbrush. Seriously. Get a clue.
What does she wants? Well, that’s easy:
What Mom Really Wants for Christmas
She wants to relax.
Now, the beauty of this is that you have OPTIONS. You can give her a full day off and send her to her favorite place alone – the spa, hiking, whatever she is into. You can hire a sitter and give her the day off. You can order her a massage or a massage package, so she can go regularly – the ultimate gift!
Or how about this? Institute a “mom hour.” (PS, it doesn’t have to be a whole hour.) During mom hour, NO ONE BOTHERS MOM. She is then allowed to luxuriate in a hot bath, read a book, play Candy Crush (um, without you using up her lives on her phone), watch a show you don’t like (here it’s Dr. Who, I don’t know WHY my husband doesn’t totally freaking ADORE THIS SHOW). You can run “mom hour” once a month, once a week or daily if you can handle that. And best thing? You can definitely request a “dad hour” too!
Or, just do the cooking one work week for all 3 meals. She’ll be falling all over you if you do!
She wants to feel beautiful.
All you need here is a compliment, but to do that, you have to notice: new dress, new hair, new style. You should be paying attention because let’s face it, that’s the biggest compliment of all. But more importantly, odds are she’s doing that “looking beautiful” thing for YOU – at least on some level. (Ok, we like looking good for our girlfriends and for the camera too, but when she’s home alone at night and isn’t weariing granny panties or baggie sweats – yea, that’s for you!)
She wants to know you still think she’s sexy
Ok, I’m going to tell you guys how to handle this one APPROPRIATELY. Gaping, leering and smacking her butt is NOT the way to her heart – or her other parts. You need to build on that last compliment bullet: Start with a compliment on her look and then work it towards how this has built your desire. But please, oh please, keep it classy! It’s ok to get goofy or whatever on her cue, but no woman wants to be partnered with a 16 year old overactive hormonal guy, or the frat boy. Don’t act like that!! No drooling, just real appreciation so she knows that when you’re thinking THOSE thoughts, you’re thinking of her and no one else. (You are, right???)
She wants to feel appreciated.
This is a biggie. I don’t know what is wrong with us, but many, MANY women just don’t feel like anyone even so much as notices what we do. The only solution is to tell her.
Can I say that again?
JUST TELL HER. You can go the nice route and show up with flowers or chocolate with a sweet card, but what you really need to do is say “thank you.” Once a week would do nicely. Not kidding! When I get a “honey, I really appreciate this,” I’m floating on air for 7 more days. Honestly, it’s the fastest way to my heart. We are all overworked and overwhelmed, and we would do it anyway, because we love our families, but a “thank you” goes a long, LONG way to energizing how much you can handle on any given day. Believe me, gratitude truly does fuel your sense of duty and love-service to those around you.
She wants all of that from you.
You mean that much to her.
And guys? She wants all of that, but she wants the truth, too. Sooner or later, she’ll find out. Walk through whatever the heck is going on together.
I can tell you FIRST HAND that ploughing through the BS that Chris and I needed to get through since last December has mad a HUGE difference in, well, in everything! We are not exactly where I’d like us to be yet but making our way, probably faster than I would have thought possible on the day after everything blew up.
It’s worth it.