Don’t worry, nobody looks like this! It’s the result of Photoshopping.
Ok, now before I start, you should know that I am a petite woman (5 feet tall) and the largest I’ve ever been is a size 10, for the excruciating year after Amelia’s birthday. You should also know that the thinnest I’ve ever been is a size 4, and that was for a few mere months after I had my stroke. Erego, anything in the 120 lb range means I’m sick and I don’t look good.
However, being short, thin framed, and small-breasted (I LIKED being preggers for the boobs), if I gain a few pounds, my clothes cease to fit, which is why I own some size 8 clothes, and I hate them with an intense passion.
I did also gain weight over this summer – not so much a pound measurement as waist tightening on my clothes. I’m thinking it was due to high levels of stress, or it could have been the donuts, or the lack of working out. I haven’t worked out in probably a year, my WiiFit board growing dusty in my office. My cholesterol went up too, and I was hugely ashamed.
Honestly, the level of shame I felt was disproportionate to the weight I’d gained. Even if I had gained weight through a stressful and tiring summer, so what? Shame is what you feel when you hurt someone very badly or you do something terribly wrong. Gaining a little weight? That’s life.
This, as you all know, is a woman thing. We feel completely defined by our weight, our looks, our age. Is this who we are? Then why do we all feel like sexy 25 year olds inside, just trapped in the wrong body?
So, I did get back on the Wii. I cringed as I pulled up the stats and… I’d lost weight, and I’d lost BMI.
WHAT??? How did… Ok, I know, it’s just a Wii, it’s not terribly accurate. And the fact is that scare was good for me to get me start moving my butt, because exercise is not just good for your weight, your health and your cholesterol, it also reduces stress and increases sex drive. (Yes, I read it in Self, lol…) But the feelings I had were completely false! I had not gained, I’d lost…and this peeled back the shame. A little, anyway.
My challenge to you is this: what if we tapped into that 25 year old that resides inside us? If we feel that way inside, why shouldn’t we let it light us up and feel good about ourselves? I didn’t get on the Wii yet today, and I had to take yesterday off for cramps, but the Halloween candy is gone, and I’ve started.
My 25 year old is screaming for release. I think it’s time to let her out to play. No more feeling bad about my body. It is what it is, and what it is ain’t bad. And God still loves it, and He’s proud of me for trying to make it better.
C’mon ladies, let your inner hottie out! How will you celebrate? (I’m buying some sexy jammies this weekend, you?)