Have you ever struggled with your confidence? Maybe you think things should be totally great but they’re not. You’re frustrated, overworked and just plain tired. Your confidence is shot, which is strange, because all the feedback you get is good. We could all use some self confidence tips.
That’s what’s been going on with me. The last 12 months have kicked my butt in this department. Things started to improve in the spring, but then something truly rattling happened and since then, I’ve had a hard time getting back to me.
Ever have that happen? You’re so lost you don’t know where you are? And that has put a strain on my life and my business. Plus, not having the proper self-confidence or self-esteem can easily lead to self-pity, and that can give you “victim” syndrome. I didn’t know this until a few years ago, but you can “act” like a victim (where all things revolve around you) even if you actually are a victim (that is, an actual victim of crime or at the mercy of some situation you feel powerless to break free from).
Who knew? It’s critical to your survival and growth that you have the right amount of confidence to live your life so that you can get along with others and even help them -what I believe we’re here to do.
What do you do when your confidence is shot so low that it might hurt your livelihood? I can’t afford to sit idly by while I have obligations and commitments, no matter where my self-esteem. So the last few weeks, I’ve invested some time in fostering strategies to get my professional confidence back. Check out these self confidence tips; they just might make a difference!
7 self confidence tips
Here are 7 things that are helping me right now build my confidence:
1. Ask for Encouragement
Sometimes you need to ask if your work is up to snuff, or how to get over your lack of confidence. This one has tripped me up in the past, but I have a handle on it now. The trick is not to over-ask from anyone, but if an offer or opportunity or major decision comes along that you are struggling with, reach out to a friend or colleague and tell them you’re challenged -with having confidence. There is a chance they will tell you something you did not know. Today I got exactly that kind of encouragement and it was a push that boosted me in the right direction.
2. Don’t Over-read “Signs”
Ok, I know last week I discussed how to hear from from God especially when coincidences happen, but not everything that happens to you means something. Sometimes rain is just rain. Yesterday I went out of the house on an errand to connect with some business owners on a venture and got the timing all wrong. I was totally upset over the first visit, saw something in that person’s window and made a mistake that made me believe my pitch wouldn’t be attractive. A half and hour later, I walked back to my car and realized that I had been looking at the wrong window! Duh. I totally read something into nothing. In fact, I returned at the right time today and that person was completely interested in my new project.
3. Know Your Worth
This is tricky for women, but last week, one of my clients gave me GREAT advice when I was negotiating with her. She said, “Talk to me like a man. Just say what you want.” So I did and made a successful negotiation. Not only that, but I went completely out of my comfort zone and pitched her another project that I’ve been dying to do. She was completely open to the idea of creating an ebook on my topic. (Stay tuned for ebook news in 2016!)
4. Help Someone Out
We live in a money-run world, and I know that it’s hard to give and also it’s hard to figure out where and when you should ask for money. I’m the sort of person who totally over-thinks giving, but honestly? This is one of those self confidence tips that sounds counter-intuitive but it’s not. Sometimes “giving” is just telling someone your story. Or smiling and telling the clerk to have a nice day. Or holding the door open for someone who may or may not need it. Or putting the dumb phone down to give a hug. Start simple; it’ll make you feel good.
5. Do What You Like
When you’re doing something you are not enjoying, it’s easy to self-sabotage and even easier to shake your confidence. Try to work at something that you honestly enjoy, or find parts or aspects of your job that you like. Even if that’s not possible at your daily job, find time for a side hustle that makes you happy, but be careful that it’s a good fit. Invest wisely, too making sure you don’t overspend but are set up to succeed.
(And I’m betting this is EVERYONE’S favorite of all my self confidence tips!) When you work at home, you get into a rhythm of wearing comfy – and maybe not-so-attractive clothes. Bras are optional, shoes are slippers. Sometimes, sensory issues kick in and comfort is absolutely needed but not all the time! Today I dressed up for my errand and it felt great, so I stayed dressed up to work at my desk. It felt pretty good.
I’m also a person that believes the key is not always the clothes but the accessories. The only thing I love more than accessories are boots. (Must. Buy. New ones. Every. Year.) Really, a simple piece can make a whole outfit work, or the right top or pants or even shoes can make you feel better! I’m not a big fan of heels so when I find comfortable ones that I can walk in, I love it because I feel tall in them – big deal for a 5’0″ woman 🙂
7. A Bit of Gratitude
I can’t stress this one enough, but a gratitude jar is a great idea for helping you to see how blessed you are in life. Breathing? Be thankful! Got over a cold? Be thankful! Child survived the school year? Be thankful! God provides us so much and we Americans forget that too often. Even if our liberties might be eroding, we are still in a place in this country where we can effect change and actually see what’s going on and, even now, we are relatively safe compared to some places in the world.
How do you fight feelings of low self confidence? Which of these self confidence tips will you put in to practice today?
If you need more help…
Here are some books that can help. (These are my Amazon Affiliate links.)